Burnt Suits and Novelty Shirts
by AtLoLevad
Summary: Eggsy's suit is burnt to bits. He's got less than an hour to meet Merlin and Roxy. That leaves him with one choice.


"Aw, fuck me," Eggsy grumbled, looking down at the charred remains of his suit.

The custom suit was hanging in tatters from his muscular shoulders and there were the remnants of extinguisher foam stuck to the cloth.

"Damn," he cursed, yanking his hand away from the hot belt buckle. Eggsy blew on his hand, shaking it to take the sting away.

Well now he was up shit creek, wasn't he?

Eggsy frowned. Roxy and Merlin were expecting him at the rendezvous point in less than an hour. And he had no bloody suit.

"Think, you buggering idiot," Eggsy muttered to himself. He didn't have time to head to Kingsman and get his spare suit. If he did that, Roxy would surely have to go in on her own, and while she was perfectly capable, Eggsy didn't like sending her to the wolves without him there to watch her back.

A quick look at his watch told him he had 45 minutes now.

Thinking as he moved, Eggsy shucked the tattered suit bits, leaving black fabric all over the hotel room.

He snuck a peek outside of the hotel window, looking for a store that might help him.

"Brilliant!" he grinned, eyes skipping over the food shops and drugstores before landing on the one shop that would help.

He darted out of his hotel room, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs (Union Jack patterned, thankyouverymuch) and carrying his umbrella.

He sprinted across the street ("Oi, fuck you! I'm tryin' ta cross here!") and bolted into the shop across from his hotel.

"Hi," he grinned at the shopgirl, "Just poppin' in for a bit of a looksee."

She gaped at him slightly, "Erm, sir we can't actually serve you in your current state."

Eggsy's grin broadened as he grabbed a shirt and trousers off the racks, "Perfect, then. As I nipped in to pick these up."

"That'll be 15 pounds," she said, still shocked at the sight of Eggsy's bare chest.

"Ta!" He said, dropping the notes on the counter and running out of the store, yanking the shirt over his head as he went.

* * *

"Sorry!" Eggsy shouted, sliding into the hotel room and letting the door thump against the wall, "Sorry 'm late!"

"It's fine, we're a bit beh-" Roxy looked up from her file and her jaw fell.

Eggsy followed her gaze to his shirt and smiled, "Like it?"

Roxy let out a giggle, "What is that?"

Before Eggsy could answer, Merlin walked into the room, "Good, I thought I heard you, Eggsy. We've got a lot - What are you wearing?"

"A suit," Eggsy laughed cheekily.

"That is most certainly not a suit," Merlin eyed the novelty shirt with great distaste.

Eggsy plucked at the fabric, "Sure it is. It's even got lapels and everything."

Roxy giggled hysterically, "Eggsy! Where did your suit go?"

The tips of his ears went pink, "Brunt to bits. I was caught in an explosion, wasn't I?"

Roxy's expression immediately became serious as she sprung to her feet and rushed to his side, "An explosion? Is that why you're late?"

Eggsy appreciated her concern and he nodded, "Yeah. The fuckin' arse blew up his bloody 'ouse. That's my luck, innit?"

Roxy smoothed a hand over the cut on Eggsy's forehead, "You've got shite luck, love."

Eggsy leaned into her touch, but before anything could happen, Merlin cleared his throat.

Both Kingsman agents whipped their heads to look at him, faint blushes covering their cheeks.

"I appreciate young love as much as the next person," he drawled, "But we do have an arms ring to bring down."

"Right," Roxy nodded, smoothing down the front of her cocktail dress. She looked at her boyfriend and sighed, "You can't go out there like that, Eggsy."

Merlin heaved a long-suffering sigh, "You're quite lucky I pack for moments like this. There's a suit hanging on the bathroom door."

"Ta!" Eggsy grinned and scampered off to the bedroom.

Merlin shook his head and turned to Roxy, "What do you see in him? He can't even get himself to missions properly dressed."

Roxy grinned mischievously, "He's got a *fantastic* arse."

Merlin threw his hands in the air and turned away, "I give up!"

* * *

 **A/N: Just a bit of Reggsy fun based on a prompt I saw on tumblr. Drop mea review and let me know what you think.**


End file.
